her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
