dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
