How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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