She is in my trunk
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
