You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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