Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
