I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
