My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
