i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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