But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
There was a lot of him and a little penis
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
