your room smells of hookers.
And success
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Pooping to opera.
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