my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
why do cheetos always look like penises
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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