new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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