She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
