Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
