Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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