Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
