Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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