I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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