She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
this just has baby written all over it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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