Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
