I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
