I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
