if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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