If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
