remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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