You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize