Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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