forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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