if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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