in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize