and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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