I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Let's get the cat blown out
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
