I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Small penises have feelings too.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize