Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
