i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
