Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
