My room smells like vodka and shame
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
