I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
