Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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