weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
