Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
