I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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