Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
