I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
So squirting runs in the family.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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