Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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