I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
