what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
