No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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