is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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