Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize