But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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