Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Panties = found
Randomize
