I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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