Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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