im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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