Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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