Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
