There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
