"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
