I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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